~THIS IS THE VOICE!....ANNOYING ~ Valley Speak!

Whoa...I'm NOT talking NBC's ~The Voice~ NOPE! First off,I love all of the Judges...well maybe not CeeLo Green & Christina Aguilera so much_but the others have been Awesome! Especially, MY Secret Boyfriend Blake Shelton! Shhh,my husband doesn't know just yet. 

Love_his Charming demeanor,good looks and personality. 

This Blog Post is about a recent Event I attended_of which at some point I just "Excused Myself" to give my ears a Rest. Honestly, I really thought the Days Of Paris Hilton,Brittany Spears_"SPEAK" had disappeared. Boy,was I wrong.I'm Talkin'_ 

It was Non-Stop,Ebb & Flow Decibels,Octaves at  a FREQUENCY of 440 Hz with the Highest Note above 880 Hz+...Annoying! I thought those VOICES  had faded with the 80's as in FAD. Picture this_small room in a basement of an 101 year old Hotel for a Wedding Reception filled with Late Twenty somethings into Early Thirty somethings Women.At one point,I just wanted to be totally CRAY-CRAY,stand up & Shout above the Noise_ Just Stop! 

It was like Mariah Carey Highest Octave on Steroids"x 20+ people talking at the same time  greater than the highest vocal Octave known to Man_10!!

And/Or...

I realized that these Young Women came up during the 80's Era of...

                                 BARBIE SYNDROME 

                                  BRITTANY SPEARS

                                        PARIS HILTON

                                        "CLUELESS"
At some point, I morphed into that ValleySpeak in my head! I Kept repeating to myself...

Honestly, I have not been around this age group_ (THANK GOD)_ for any period of time. Maybe this is the way Young Women speak_ I rationalized. These are all EDUCATED Young Women of all ETHNIC GROUPS,University Graduate,Successful,etc.

I shared my experience with a good friend_she started laughing because_she'd been invited to a Bridal Shower the SAME weekend,encountered the same_"VOICE"_& excused herself shortly thereafter as well. NOTE: I do NOT believe that all Young Women talk like this...it's only a certain sector of the population!They have been in Training since the 80's  & can NOT change_as they are "Vested in that VOICE"! 

So,I started to google on this "Valley Speak Syndrome".Urban Dictionary is not so KIND in their definition _A spoiled, idiotic adolescent female from the Southwestern part of the United States, typically rich and white, whose language is insulting to human intelligence. Proof that the San Andreas fault needs to hurry up with sinking California back into the Pacific Ocean.Just watch the "Clueless" movie or TV show to see a good example of what a valley girl is.

Here are a few examples of "The VOICE": 
Seems, The height of the "Valley Girl" period was during 1982-83, with several films, shows and music of the New Wave Era embodying the "Valley" atmosphere of the San Fernando Valley during that time. In 1982, composer Frank Zappa released the single "Valley Girl", with his 14-year-old daughter Moon Unit speaking typical "Valley Girl" phrases. Zappa intended to lampoon the image, but after the song's release there was a significant increase in the "Valspeak" slang usage, whether ironically spoken or not.The 1982-83 CBS TV show Square Pegs featured Tracy Nelson playing Jennifer DeNuccio, a popular Valley Girl at the high school.The 1983 film Valley Girl starring Nicolas Cage centered on a group of "Valley Girl" characters and featured several characterizations associated with their lifestyle (such as going shopping at the mall or"Galleria" suntanning at the beach, and going to parties).The protagonist of the 1995 film Clueless has been described as a caricature of 1990s "Valley Girls," though she is actually from nearby Beverly Hills. 

Then there's this...The high rising terminal (HRT), also known as upspeak, uptalk, rising inflection, or high rising intonation (HRI), is a feature of some accents of English where declarative sentences are uttered with rising-pitch intonation. 

And,

AT 2:58 ...she says _"It INQUIRES...I think she meant REQUIRES? NOT my recollection of what a  Kentwood,Louisana a rural town in Tangipahoa Parish,Louisiana near the Mississippi border, population was 2,205 at the 2000 census sounds like. This is toned down from earlier days. 

Bottom line,this drove me INSANE!  

So.....

It was a Memorable experience that will linger in my Memory...."just sayin". Pray tell me NOT every young Educated Woman  or Man has the "VALLEY SPEAK  Syndrome" in 2015 ??? 
Recuperating Nicely... 

Past Occupation-"Professional Flatulist",BUTT,it could Happen Again!

Sometimes you've gotta take a break from all the serious things going on in the Universe ! Today YOU are Lucky! I had a 

"Bright Idea" after randomly reading a couple pages from a very small book that permanently resides in my "Throne Room". Unfortunately, "My Throne Room" doesn't compare to the "Royal Throne Room" I visited while at the Iolani Palace in Honolulu.It was located in a rather large walk-in type closet next to this_the "Official Throne Room"..BTW,didn't check to see if Reading material was available!

DISCLAIMER: This may offend some_"Butt"_Humor others.

A sense of humor is, simply put, the ability to be amused. Most people have one, and are able to laugh at jokes, humorous situations, and a variety of other potential sources of amusement. In humans, it develops at a very early age, and is often considered to be a vital part of human development.Humor appears to be an important part of human survival. The ability to laugh can dispel tension in a time of complex situations.People with a well-developed sense of humor appear to be happier in psychological studies, and some are healthier as well, suggesting that it may just be good for you.Not everyone has a sense of humor. People with Autism, Asperger's syndrome, and a variety of developmental disabilities sometimes lack one.~Psychology Today~ 

That being said...let's get on with it! I opened the book_

to this page_

Indeed,that got my attention! I read on...

By this time,I'm going SERIOUSLY? 

So, "Petomanie" means someone who can break wind at will. That's all I needed, I was on the hunt to find out if any of this was TRUE. **** For the rest of the story,Ya Gonna just have to buy the book (amazon.com for both)_it's a good read along with this other book I purchased in the 90's with amazing stories as well. 

Turns out back in the day,if you ventured into the Outhouse & decided to smoke your Corn Cob Pipe or in England /Australia a Fag (aka Cigarette),strike a match to light up_while surrounded by methane gas_BOOM!!!Folks,You'd be Done & Done!

Plus,the cartoons and pictures of the creative minds on this subject are hilarious! One of my Favorite Photos is...

There are other Books on the market_

Nope Not Buying A Cook Book with a title like this!

& DVDs

AND..this character  "Mr Methane"...I can't!Just say...No!

If you are brave enough...this is awful...LOL!

https://www.youtube.com/user/MrMethane1 

Now,back to the MAIN SHOW...this guy really did exist! 

Le Pétomane was the stage name of the French Flatulist (professional farter) and entertainer Joseph Pujol (June 1, 1857 – 1945). He was famous for his remarkable control of the abdominal muscles which enabled him to seemingly fart at will. He was the HIGHEST PAID Performer of all acts during his time! Some of the highlights of his stage act involved sound effects of cannon fire and thunderstorms, as well as playing"O Sole Mio"and"La Marseillaise"on an ocarina through a rubber tube in his anus. He could also blow out a candle from several yards away. His audience included Edward Prince of Wales;King Leopold II of the Belgians;and Sigmund Freud. 

1900 Early Silent Movie Clip_amazing since it could not be heard...RIGHT? 

In 1979 _The full short film biopic of Joseph Pujol act starring Leonard Rossiter . http://www.leonardrossiter.com 

***Note the Nurses standing in the aisles.They were required at all of his performances because people laughed themselves into hysterical states & had to be taken to waiting ambulances...no kidding! 

As a Kid,I remember people playing jokes on folks with this trick_claiming something was wrong with their finger.If you pulled it there's a terrible sound & smell. I was always the one that would NOT do it! 

Lesson Learned...

“On the highest throne in the world, we still sit only on our own bottom.” ~Michel de Montaigne~ "The Complete Essays" (of which I've been reading for the last 3 years,tiny,tiny print,5 million pages & lots of Wisdom). 

*XTRA!!!

Check out Side page "MENTAL-LOCITY"Column for the story behind "CRAPPER". Also, read a former Post that's related... http://sagebookwhisperer.blogspot.com/2012/04/getting-caught-with-your-pants-down.html 

Xtra!Xtra! Troops on Standby As "Blue Bell Ice Cream War" Escalates!!!

UNLESS,You've been under a rock somewhere or live in some of the other foreign States of America (except my Beloved New Hampshire) or other parts of the World ~WORD-Up ~The Nightmare is nearing the end.

Blue Bell Fans after four months of a recall linked to a listeria outbreak,seeing BB yanked off the shelves,totally disappearing,

months filled with speculation_Blue Bell will be returning to a SELECT FEW STORES starting August 31st! 

                                        Get Outta Here!
    (LOOK AT THE COW'S EXPRESSION AS THE MAN W/PAIL "VOMITUS")

BUT,Here's The Deal: There’s a five-phase plan to bring Blue Bell to 15 states:

Phase One: Brenham, Houston and Austin, Texas, areas, as well as parts of Alabama, (Birmingham and Montgomery) where the product is being made, starting Aug. 31.
Phase Two: North central Texas and southern Oklahoma
Phase Three: Southwest Texas and central Oklahoma
Phase Four: The majority of Texas and southern Louisiana.
Phase Five: Complete the states of Alabama, Oklahoma and Texas and begin distribution in Arkansas, Florida, northern Louisiana and Mississippi. This phase will also include only parts of the following states: Georgia, Kentucky, Missouri, New Mexico, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee and Virginia.

There aren’t any specific dates set for phases two through five. The timing of each phase will depend on product availability and when Blue Bell can properly service the customers in an area. 

"THIS WILL BE A BLUE BELL WAR ZONE"!

There are a few things that a true Texan will forgive & forget_And,if you're one of our own,YOU WILL GET A SECOND CHANCE! Blue Bell Creameries opened it's doors in 1907 in Brenham ,Texas.Had a clean record of producing products that are eaten from "Cradle to Grave"since 1907...108 years of a clean record!

            They knew they were on to something back then!

 http://www.bluebell.com/

"OTHER" Brands_Breyers,Blue Bunny,Dreyer's,etc.. jumped on the "bandwagon" to kick our Beloved BB while they were down.They advertised heavily on TV & in Print_ some of these brands I'd never heard of_we waited for our "OWN".But,there will be those that don't come back_Good-Riddance,NOT true Texans! Peach Cobbler without Blue Bell Ice Cream ...just Ain't Right! 

My Girls hooked me up for my "Jamaica Mon Birthday Partee" (2013).

http://sagebookwhisperer.blogspot.com/2013/05/yeahmon-partee-moments.html 

While we know it won't be_

         "STRAIGHT OUTTA BRENHAM" YET**

                          & NOT from HIM 

We will be "Straight Outta Our Damn Minds" here in Texas when it arrives in stores! I can see it all now...Police guarding the Ice Cream Aisle in Grocery Stores,Yellow Police Tape,Open Carry Gunners walking in "bullying" folks when they load their shopping baskets with 20_1/2 gallon containers of BB,some CRAY-CRAY Women or Man saying_"Oh,No You Didn't"...it's on...Drive by's,Troops are called in, Ted Cruz this Ain't Your Tea Party,it's All About Ice Cream_go away,Trump will give his take on it_"Let's Build a Wall Around these Counties with Blue Bell,no Women Allowed",FOX News will EXAGGERATE some Conspiracy Theory ,Major News Stations NBC,CBS,ABC will send their Anchors to cover the "LIVE ACTION",the BBC will produce an Educational Documentary on"The Crazy Texans Blue Bell Ice Cream War",signs will say "BLUE BELL LIVES MATTER"while dodging a Beat down from the Po-Po,people screaming_"It's Obama's Fault",Monsanto will offer help(ErMG,OMG!)....it's gonna be BAD!  

**In recent weeks Blue Bell had its Alabama plant cleared by state health officials to return to production. The move allowed the company to recall workers and begin making ice cream again for the first time in nearly four months.

This Fella offers some advice on BB around 1:09 sec.

And to all our Guest in to cover the Story _BEWARE...

We want to see this in STORES NOW...

                     Nail Matchy,Matchy...that's how we roll!

NOT THIS...

                                "Don't Mess With Texas"

On a Personal Note,I'm just waiting for this...

Purchased 4 of these puppies last Christmas_shared one only! 

Peppermint Bark Blue Bell Ice Cream around November,look for it!

                "BREAKING NEWS"!!!!!!!!! 

THIS JUST IN_EXCLUSIVE ONLY FOR THE SAGE BOOK WHISPERER READERS_"BLUE BELL WILL SEND  BACKUPS_TO AVERT ESCALATION OF BLUE BELL ICE CREAM WARS"!!!!!!!

   Atta Boy! All is Calm in Texas,once again..

                             ~NOT~ 

When BB arrives,remember this Folks_

                   Y'all Come Back Now!