Thursday, October 13, 2011

"Memoirs of a Bike Rider in South Africa"

Pre-Race HUMAN INSTRUCTIONS about event:
Location: South Africa's_Albert Falls Dam & Game Reserve_Bursting with Wildlife _Rhino,Zebra,Antelopes,etc.

Event: Time Freight Multisport Series : Description says "The VENUES are SAFE" for Cycling & Mountain Bike..(Could NOT read small print..watch out for large animals that may tackle you.)

Pre-Race RED HARTEBEEST Instructions:
Go about my morning grazing in MY TERRITORY_the grasslands of South Africa_sustaining my up to 200 lb body weight,27 inch long horns, and my ability to run up to 80 mph.While maintaining my NON-Aggressive attitude UNLESS someone enters MY Territory uninvited or mess with my young.

"DAY of RACE"_Humanoid enters territory riding shiny bike, Red Hartebeest alert as always_defends territory w/Angle Field Tackle.This tackling drill, like the open-field tackle, teaches defenders(Hartebeest) to anticipate any move at any time.**Note:Humanoid Blessed that Hartebeest was not with his Boys,as a "Herd" normally contains 5-20 individuals_ can be up to 350!  PICTURE THIS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2oymHHyV1M

LESSON OF THE DAY TO HUMANOIDS:
Any PERSON of Sound Mind knows that you SHOULD NOT be participating in a Bike Race across the open grasslands of South Africa! It's not a TOUR DE FRANCE Lance Armstrong kinda race where spectators are lined knee deep cheering Bikers on_with bottles of Wine  & French Bread! The Animals rule that neck of the world..their space.That's why when you go on Safari in Africa,you RIDE in a Fully Gassed-up ,Heavy-duty vehicle with Guns Loaded in case a RED HARTEBEE decides to take you & the vehicle "out"..saying Back off My Territory! 
                                           "MY SPACE"
With all due respect,here's hoping the Cyclist has recovered from injuries_BUT _let his misfortune be a lesson To Humans_NO TRESPASSING IN WILDLIFE TERRITORY! VIOLATORS WILL BE TACKLED! ~Save The Animals~

3 comments:

  1. A Ride of his Life!

    ReplyDelete
  2. and so these are the words from the Hartabee's mouth, "you in my space."

    ReplyDelete
  3. and these are the words from the Hartabees, "bob and weave if you come in my space."

    ReplyDelete